Bridesmaid Trilogy

Kiss a Bridesmaid is out now!

Kiss a Bridesmaid, third in the Always a Bridesmaid series, releases today at the super low introductory price of 99 cents. Don’t wait until it goes up to $2.99 next week! Buy now.

Kiss a Bridesmaid is Shortie and Abby’s story. If you’ve read Forever a Bridesmaid, Shortie is introduced in that book as Matthew Westbrook’s friend. He owns The Pie Plate. Now, he’s working with Erin as a wedding caterer and cake baker. When a naughty canine ring bearer dashes through Forsyth Park, Shortie gives chase. Abby catches the dog’s leash and ends up in the mud. And that’s how Shortie and Abby meet.

I had a great time writing Shortie and Abby’s story and I hope you enjoy reading it!

Dragon Riding

Dragon Riding

You guys! I am a Dragon Rider!

Have you heard of Nuance Dragon Naturally Speaking software? It’s voice recognition software. I initially I tried to use it two years ago and it was an unmitigated disaster. I gave up after about a month of trying and getting nowhere with it. My dragon just seemed to garble everything I said and it was more trouble than it was worth.

However, Mark Dawson’s Self-Publishing Formula podcast featured Scott Baker last week and, after listening to him, I decided to give dragon riding another go. After listening to Scott, I realized that I’d set up the software incorrectly and used a wireless microphone while dictating directly into Scrivener and Word—all things that will make Dragon really confused!

I also chose the Mac version of the software which isn’t as good as Windows. However, since I’d already sunk that money and didn’t want to install Windows on my iMac, I stuck with it. I’m using version 6.06 and it seems stable so far.

So, I ordered a Blue Yeti desktop microphone (NB: Affiliate Link) from Amazon and, when it arrived the next day, set it up, without really having high hopes. I set up a new profile in Dragon and dictated for about 15 minutes. When I reviewed the file, I’d written 822 words—the core of the next scene I needed to write—with a fair degree of accuracy. In fact, the only error was that Dragon misheard the character name “Erin” as “Aaron.” Easily fixed.

Amazed, I downloaded the iPhone app that Scott recommended (Voice Record Pro) and used the five-minute ride home from dropping my son at school to dictate some more. After uploading the file to iCloud and transcribing it, I had another 266 words.

I am hooked. This is a game changer.

So, I thought I’d document how this changed my writing process here on the blog. I’ll try to update every month or so about how things are going with Figment. Yes, I named my dragon after a Disney character.

Working with Dragon also helps to ward off health problems associated with sitting, hunched over a keyboard all day. So far, I haven’t experienced repetitive stress injuries (RSI) or carpal tunnel, though I have dealt with it in the past. I’m able to be much more mobile and be up and moving around while using Dragon. I’m also able to go for my walk and finally fit in some exercise during the day—all while racking up the word count.

Today, I got my walk-and-talk set up with a Sony voice recorder and a gaming headset. I initially tried to do this with my iPhone but the headphones just required too much power. I think it’s a little more challenging to transfer the dictation files to my iMac from the Sony voice recorder than my iPhone but it’s not that much more difficult.

I’m also able to write in spare moments, like above after I dropped my son at school. For example, today, I ran errands. Since I write during my child-free time, usually when my son is at school, I had been resisting going out during the day to run errands. But sometimes there’s no other time to do it, as any mom of a school-aged child can tell you. In three dictation bursts, lasting about 5-7 minutes each, I wrote 1600 words—the first draft of this blog post and another scene done in time that I would not otherwise be able to be productive.

I also noticed that, probably because I’m not able to see the words as I dictating them, I tend to be more creative and more able to get into the flow and less inclined to edit as I go along.

Additionally, I can use Dragon to just record a few short bursts. I did a two-minute description of the wedding chapel in my next book today while I waited for my coffee to brew this morning. Another 200+ words that I can use to get a jump on the next scene in my work-in-progress.

I do have to make corrections still. Dragon is really rough—not least because, once I get going, I forget to punctuate so I end up with just one big paragraph. Working on that! But, then again, it’s only been three days.

So, all told, since I already had the software, it’s been about a $200 investment—$130 for the desktop Blue Yeti and $70 for the walk and talk set up. The iPhone app is free and, so far, it’s worked perfectly in the car. I haven’t had any transcription issues or needed a more powerful microphone for that. Not cheap but, hopefully, worth it.

I learned from Scott’s appearance and book that getting the right equipment makes all the difference when it comes to dragon riding. Transcription is amazing—it’s the secret sauce. Honestly, it’s like magic.

So far, I’m loving dragon riding. Will keep you posted. Now, I gotta get back to chatting with Figment 🙂

I would highly recommend Dragon. If you’re interested in finding out more about dragon riding, here’s some helpful links:

Dragon Nuance Software

Scott Baker’s Training Your Dragon website

His book, The Writer’s Guide to Training Your Dragon, is excellent (NB: Amazon Affiliate Link)

And here’s Scott’s appearance on the SPF podcast.

The Dragon Riders Facebook Group

Here’s the Blue Yeti desktop microphone that I purchased (NB: Amazon Affiliate Link)

Here’s the Sony Voice Recorder and headset I purchased. (NB: Best Buy Links are NOT affiliate links)

Here’s the app I’m using on my iPhone 6s. It’s FREE. Voice Record Pro.

If you have questions, let me know and I’ll try to help. Tell me, have you tried Dragon riding? What are your thoughts on it?

 

 

Giveaway

April Showers Romance Blog Hop

Welcome to the April Showers Romance Blog Hop!
This fun and quick hop will take you on a journey to meet some fantastic authors who write some amazing stories!
PRIZES
$50 Amazon Gift Card 
$25 Amazon Gift Card
$10 Amazon Gift Card
Increase your chances to win by visiting all the stops listed below,
and leave a comment with your email address.
Don’t forget to check out the MEGA April Showers Giveaway
And have fun with the April Showers authors by joining them on April 21st for their Facebook Party!
Thanks for hopping with us… have fun… and away we go….!!!! 
Visit all of the stops in the bloghop by using this list below…
Laura Haley-McNeil  http://laurahaleymcneil.com/

Coloring

Land of Dreams

I’ve mentioned my love of coloring before on the blog.  Once writing became a job for me, I needed a hobby to provide an additional creative outlet. Coloring fit the bill. It’s the closest I’ve ever come to a true meditative state.  My favorite coloring books are the ones by Johanna Basford such as Secret Garden and Enchanted Forest.

Recently, my dear friend Hannah surprised me with a Croatian coloring book as a no-special-occasion treat. Zmelja Snova is incredibly intricate and detailed far surpassing even the most difficult Johanna Basford book, Lost Ocean.

Zmelja Snova literally means “land of dreams” and each sketch possesses a fairytale quality, full of amazing detail. Pictures include dragons, fairies, castles, and more. The designs can easily take more than a week to color. In the month since I received the book, I have been having a great time coloring in these intricate designs.

The book is only available via bookstores in Croatia and is extremely expensive to ship to the United States. Facebook groups have banded together to place large orders to save on shipping.

I ordered two books and they turned out to be about $26 each. So there substantially more expensive but still worth it. The paper is very thick and can take markers and paint pens though I do find that sharpies bleed through. It’s a lot of fun coloring this one! I highly recommend it.

 

Next week, I’ll finally get around to talking about Pinocchio too 🙂

Disney Challenge

Disney Challenge: Snow White

First up in our Disney Challenge to watch all the Disney Animated Films (including the Pixar ones) is the first Disney princess, Snow White. She even has her own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. This first full-length film from the Disney Studios came out in December 1937.

The movie relies heavily on the Brothers Grimm who created a pastiche from oral traditions. Recently, scholars have also identified two possible historical sources for the tale of Snow White. There might even be a real magic mirror.But, Disney mostly based the film on a Bavarian fairy tale as reported by the brother’s Grimm.  

So, everyone knows the story, right? Wicked, vain stepmother (AKA the Evil Queen) with a mysterious magic mirror and envy issues, a merciful huntsman, our “fairest of them all” heroine with lips as red as blood, skin as white as snow, and hair as black as night, but not all that smart, our handsome and dashing–if mostly mute–Prince Charming and seven dwarves. The nitwit heroine hides out in the forest with some dwarves (seven, in fact) before taking a bite of the poisoned apple and falling into an enchanted sleep and placed in a glass coffin before being revived by a kiss from Prince Charming who just happened to wander past at the right moment, probably still singing.

There are significant differences between the Disney version and the original Grimm one. The Grimm brothers themselves toned down the story in subsequent versions. In the first version of the tale, the Evil Queen is Snow White’s biological mother who takes her into the forest herself and abandons her to her fate. In the subsequent Grimm version, the Queen is now the cannibalistic stepmother. In the story, instead of her heart, she requests that the huntsman bring her Snow’s lungs and liver–which she then eats, with a lot of salt. Yum! A cursory glance at the Bible or any number of historical stories give us the motivation for the second wife wanting the child of a first marriage out of the way–still, resorting to cannibalism seems a bit extreme.

At the climax of the Grimm story, the prince, overcome by Snow White’s beautiful corpse, makes his servants drag around the glass coffin so he can have it handy for looking at her. Such a healthy relationship! One of the servants drops it (or hits her–depending on the version) and she revives. It’s like medieval CPR. Still, arguably, a better climax than the corpse kissing. The ending of the Grimm story is also much more gruesome. The Evil Queen is punished for her vanity by being forced into red hot metal shoes that she wears as she dances to death at Snow and the Prince’s wedding. The Grimm brothers were not messing around.

 

So, first the good. This movie was such an amazing feat of animation. There are some lovely, charming moments like when she first sees the dwarves cottage. The movie is a triumph of craftsmanship and groundbreaking, recognized for revolutionizing animation as we know it. It paved the way for all the animated movies–both Disney and not–that came after it–the so-called “All Animation is Disney” TV trope. In recognition, Snow White won a special academy award–one big Oscar and seven little ones and shows up on many best movie of all time list. It’s not because of the plot and characters but because of the technical, life-like animation. Here’s the clip of the Oscar being presented to Walt Disney by Shirley Temple.

 

Here’s a behind the scenes glimpse at the making of Snow White, narrated by Angela Lansbury.

 

 

So, besides the technical achievement, what else does this movie do well? The dwarves are pretty cute. Though they were first named in a play in the early 1900s, Disney changed the names to be more appealing. They also only have 4 fingers–suggesting that they are fey–which is intriguing too. I would like to know more about them and their backstory.

Trivia question: Can you name the seven dwarves? We learned this mnemonic when I worked at Disney: 2S, 2D, and 3 emotions: Sleepy, Sneezy, Doc, Dopey, Happy, Bashful, and Grumpy. It must have worked because, even 30 years later, I can still rattle it off 🙂 Anyway, it’s good that the Dwarves get a title credit because they have A LOT of screentime. Like three songs worth and multiple humorous bits.

I’m currently listening to the amazing There and Back Again story seminar by Alastair Stephens (formerly of StoryWonk, now Point North Media) and couldn’t help but contrast these cuddly, friendly dwarves with Tolkien’s  contemporaneous group of dwarves from The Hobbit (published just three months before the film debut). Can you imagine Doc and Co. meeting up with pompous Thorin Oakshield? (Actually, you don’t have to! There’s fanfic for it). How misogynistic can Grumpy be? Behind the scenes, Walt says that they made him a woman hater to mitigate some of Snow White’s cutesy. Yikes!

But, overall, their songs are memorable. Heigh-ho being one of the more famous numbers. And they’re cute in the way they relate to each other and to Snow.

So, onto the bad. The movie fails because it’s protagonist (Snow White) is a twit and the unnamed prince is a paper cutout. These are not fully developed characters. They are archetypes.

This movie is where all the negative stereotypes of Disney princess culture comes from. Snow White reminds me of what romance readers dub the Too Stupid to Live (TSTL) heroine. Snow White’s big “I Want” song (“I’m Wishing/Someday My Prince Will Come”) says she wants to be rescued. She’s waiting for a prince on a white horse to rescue her. In the meantime, she’ll stay under her stepmother’s thumb and scrub the castle stairs.

This doesn’t play well to modern audiences. We want women who want more than just love or the presence of a hero in their life. It’s fine to want love but she needs to also have personal goals and interests outside the romance. Occasionally, we’ll see a modern heroine specifically setting out to find love or a man, sometimes to become a mother. But usually, these are women that have succeeded in their chosen career first. In most modern romance, love is a nice addition to the heroine’s otherwise full and busy life.

I get that she’s compassionate and kind. To me, she’s also dull, which is far more unforgivable in a character, especially the heroine. And the hero? Prince Charming is little more than a heroic paper screen to project our romantic notions upon. I’ve heard the theory that he’s death coming to take her away which is at least interesting.

The Prince is good because he is the Prince. He is tall, dark, and handsome plus he’s got a white horse.  And he sings well. He doesn’t even get a name. We call him Prince Charming because Snow later says he was very charming. Some additional Disney information that says his name is Frederick or possibly Florian. Does it matter? Nope. He also does not fight or do battle like most of the other Disney princes. In the original storyline, he was supposed to be imprisoned in the EQ/WS’s dungeon, chained to the wall and left to drown. At least that would be interesting.  Sadly, the animators couldn’t draw men well so his part got cut.

So Snow and the Prince can sing together and what else do they have in common? All romance stories face the challenge of showing the connection between the hero and heroine. Most of Act II is devoted to showing what the hero and heroine have in common and why they are a good match. It’s not necessarily an easy thing to develop and demonstrate. Even the latest Beauty and the Beast movie struggles with it. Usually, most stories happen in a compressed time frame which makes growing intimacy (not necessarily sexual intimacy) difficult to establish. But Beauty and the Beast relies on the enemies to lovers trope as it moves them from active dislike through grudging respect to friendship and then, finally, to love. Snow pretty much is like: male? white horse? sings? I’ll take him!

Talk about instalove! The Prince and snow white are on screen together for about three minutes of an 83-minute movie. Seriously, Snow has more dialogue with the murderous huntsman than she does with Prince What’s-His-Face. He shows up at the wishing well and turns her song into a duet. Then, inexplicably, she dashes off because she’s frightened. Then sends a bird to kiss his teeth (IDK if they were trying to draw the bird kissing his mouth but it ends up looking like she’s pecking his teeth like an avian dental assistant). We don’t see him again until seconds before the credits roll when he’s so overcome by the beauty of Snow’s corpse, he kisses her before they depart to his castle on the cloud. This isn’t romance. It’s a bad Tinder date.

Here we have the creepy corpse kisser being saved by love’s FIRST kiss (note the emphasis on chastity here).

I’d like to say this movie was made at a much simpler time, when we didn’t require as much depth from our characters. But this movie came out the same year as Gone with the Wind and three years after It Happened One Night which boosted characters with plenty of depth. So that’s not it. Maybe it just doesn’t translate well to modern times?

By far and away, the strongest character is the Evil Queen/Wicked Stepmother. Did you know she has a name? It’s Grimhilde. She’s basically a mix of Lady MacBeth, the Big Bad Wolf, and Joan Crawford.  Beauty is all in the Queen’s story. Snow White is, we’re told over and over, very beautiful–lips red as the rose (it’s blood in the original), hair dark as ebony, and skin as white as snow. She’s in the full bloom of youth and budding sexuality.

The Queen is vain. She just can’t cope with being outshone by her stepdaughter. Her looks are fading, and thus her status in a society where her looks are all she’s valued for. Soon she’ll be invisible. Her motivations are understandable even today–maybe especially today. The movie tells us it’s fine to be beautiful (on the outside–no one much cares about what’s happening within. In fact, outside beauty equates to character here.) and that’s enough to establish you as desirable–but you better not be vain about it.

Apparently, the Queen also wanted Prince charming’s attention. The press kit called him every woman’s dream man. And, when she’s glowering down at their duet, supposedly EQ/WS got jealous over the male attention that she previously enjoyed being showered on her main staircase washer and that’s what turned her envy to murderous rage. A much better, much stronger motivation than “Well, he’s a pretty good singer!”

In addition to a warning against vanity, the story also presents sharply contrasting views of motherhood. Snow interacts with the dwarves as a loving and kind, if prissy rule following, pain in the ass maternal presence as opposed to her envious, murderous stepmother. I don’t think it’s accidental that the EQ/WS poisons her via food. Contrast that with the nourishing soup that Snow prepares.

Mirrors seem to play a significant part in fairy tales–we see a mirror again in Beauty and the Beast. Snow and Prince Charming see their reflection in the bottom of the well, a wholesome and—don’t hate me—charming image—as opposed to the rotting greens, yellows, and purples (the colors of decay) of the Magic Mirror. An interesting symbol.

The evil queen/wicked stepmother is not defeated by Snow, Prince Charming, or the Dwarves (of course not–they have no agency!). She’s killed by a lightening strike-a literal deus ex machina bolt from the blue. She is the original Disney villain death.

I still have questions at the end too–there are a lot of loose ends in this storyline and unanswered questions

  1. Where’d the magic mirror come from?
  2. What’s the Huntsman’s story? And what happens to him after he frees Snow and his deception with the heart is known?
  3. What’s Prince Charming’s story? He just wanders the woods singing and kissing corpses?
  4. What happened to Snow White and the Evil Queen’s kingdom? After all, the Evil Queen got smashed by a rock and Snow headed off to the cloud castle with what-his-name.

There are, of course, tons of Snow White adaptations too. Most prominently, Snow is a major character in Once Upon A Time (available to stream on Netflix), the mother of the protagonist, Emma Swan. Once Upon a Time is a special case though–they pretty much took the Disney properties and tossed them in a blender. It’s like fanfic on crack. I’m about halfway through the first season and I love it. And that version of Snow White, while still beautiful, sweet, and kind, has a backbone of steel. She’s portrayed as a cross between Robin Hood and a schoolmarm. Plus, she gets to have an extramarital affair with Prince Charming. (So not kidding!)

There are also new in-depth treatments of the Evil Queen/Wicked Stepmother, who is actually a far more interesting and more complex character than Snow White herself. Again, Once Upon a Time offers that along with an actual magic mirror character. There’s also Disney’s own line of books, including Fairest of All: A Tale of the Wicked Queen. (I’m reading this now and enjoying it!) 

There are a few more well-known adaptations, including Mirror Mirror (campy and crazy!) and Snow White and the Huntsman (which at least has the benefit of Chris Hemsworth as the Huntsman). I like the idea of the Huntsman being the love interest of either Snow or the Evil Queen or sometimes both!

There’s a Disney Animated Classics series with the teenaged versions of several fairy tale characters too, along with a film called Descendents, which is very clever too. But overall, I just can’t quite love this movie.

If I choose this fairy tale for my future series, Snow will need a major update. She can still be compassionate and kind but she’s got to be smart too. Throughout the film, Snow White is emphasized as beautiful, which is considered by far the most important thing for a woman within the bounds of this story world. And we can infer that the Evil Queen was also beautiful. Beauty equating to character is not going to work in a modern retelling. But vanity, the urge to hold on to youth and beauty, as well as envy for younger women that have it–well, that’s pretty universal–along with the tension between a stepmother and stepdaughter. I think I might be able to make something of that. I’m still thinking. One challenge in writing an update is not to let the stepmother character overshadow Snow.

I also need a fully developed Prince Charming. But, he’s such a blank slate that’s not difficult. I also think the Huntsman character is far more interesting–he’s in service (however one wants to take that word 🙂 to the Queen and he’s merciful. Much better than Prince What’s HIs Name.

Next up…Pinocchio, or, as I like to call it, the original Caillou. More next week, Disney Friends!

Kindle Scout, Lost Art of Second Chances

SALE! Over 200 Kindle Scout books on sale for 99 cents each!

I got so excited over the live-action Beauty and the Beast (I’m going to see it for the second time today!) that I totally forgot to mention this deal! Sorry about that!

To celebrate their second anniversary, Kindle Press has placed all the Kindle Scout books on 99 cent sale, including my own Kindle Scout book, The Lost Art of Second Chances.

Better go buy them now because the sale ends on 3 April 2017. Kindle Press doesn’t offer this sort of price reduction often so buy now! 

 

 

 

Disney Challenge

Disney Challenge: Beauty and the Beast (4/4)

So, let’s talk about the new film, shall we? You might have heard of it? Bit of a box office smash? The new Beauty and the Beast live-action remake. Fair warning–I loved it so much that I’m going to see it again on Friday with my BFF. And I might see it again in IMAX too. And possibly once more in 3D. I shall attempt to keep the fangirl squee-ing to a minimum here, and I might update this after I see it again (or more).

Disney’s done a fair few remakes over the past few years with varying degrees of success. Before this, Cinderella was a pretty big hit (We’ll talk about that in a few weeks when we get to the animated version). I’m going to guess that–as a generalization, the anthropomorphic ones are going to be less successful to translate from animation to film. But that’s just a guess.

But Beauty and the Beast is so beloved–an instant classic. It’s iconic–the rose, the Beast, the castle, the songs, the yellow dress. Honestly, going in, I was a bit stressed they’d mess it up. But, overall, I think they did a fantastic job.

First of all, it’s a very close remake. It’s got a longer running time, so there are a few things added (as well as a few glaring omissions) that I’ll try to discuss. Overall, I’d give it an A. I don’t know that it gets an A+ for a few reasons that I’ll discuss below.

Cinematically, it’s stunningly gorgeous. The sets, the costumes, all of it is perfection. I have heard people joke about the Beast looking like a water buffalo. While they’re not wrong, he does look like the cartoon version come to life, so I didn’t have a particular problem with it. I also heard people fuss about the yellow dress. It doesn’t look as good in the stills as it does in the movie. In the movie, it’s very flowy and floaty in that amazing ballroom scene. Yes, “Be Our Guest” is better in 3D and IMAX but still not as good as the animation.

The story: The changes here are subtle–there are no major changes to the storyline itself. But, they deepened the backstories of the main characters–specifically Belle, Beast, Gaston, and LeFou. Maurice is not the goofy dad he was in the cartoon but more of the benevolent, absent-minded professor. Kevin Kline is great in this–I hope he gets a supporting actor nod.

There is one specific scene where we get Belle’s backstory as a child in Paris that is exceptionally touching. They go to Paris–the Beast is so heartwarmingly excited to share it with her–to discover that her mother died of the plague. Beautifully done. Gorgeous.

 

Mrs. Potts also makes the observation that Beast’s father abused him, causing him to be the spoiled, petty prince we meet at first. Gaston is a war hero, probably suffering from PTSD. And LeFou is suffering from unrequited love. All strong motivations, accomplished by tweaking the dialogue a bit. Well done.

One tweak to the dialogue that I actually really liked was at the very end. In the cartoon, post-transformation Prince Adam (Beast) says, “Belle, it’s me” before she recognizes him. In the live-action version, she recognizes him solely by looking into his eyes, in a call back to the dancing scene. Perfect. Sometimes less is more 🙂

The music: They way overachieved here. I especially adore the song “Evermore” (I’ve played it an embarrassing number of times according to iTunes). The soundtrack is beyond awesome. I also like the other two new songs, “Days in the Sun” and “How Does a Moment Last Forever?” Overall, just download the soundtrack. It’s fabulous. I will definitely be using it for writing background noise.

The acting: Overall, really strong. I have to admit that while Emma Watson looks like Belle and her acting’s come a long way from her earliest Harry Potter days, she’s the weakest of the cast, especially in voice. Paige O’Hara (the cartoon Belle) had serious pipes. Watson simply doesn’t. Her voice is okay but never strong. She’s basically the Russell Crowe of this movie (Shout out to my Les Miz fans!) To be clear, I think her acting is quite good here. Her voice is just weak, especially in the first few numbers.

I loved Dan Stevens on Downton Abbey (he played the doomed Matthew) and loved him as the Beast. That sexy growl at the end–swoon city! As well as his performance of “Evermore”–Josh Groban’s is insipid by comparison. I hope Stevens gets the attention he deserves after this. He is perfection as the Beast.  Seriously, “Evermore” made me cry–all three times in the theatre! I love that song and I love Dan singing it. Also, the growl at the end has made me want to write fanfic for days. Since I’ll miss all my deadlines on my original stuff, I won’t. But every woman I know who saw this movie talks about the growl.

I also really enjoyed the opening sequence more than in the animated version. Beast is very Valmont crossed with Draco Malfoy in that sequence. I also read a headcanon that said the white wolves surrounding the castle are the cursed dancers from that scene which I loved.

Could Luke Evans be a more perfect Gaston? And some serious pipes there too. (For those who spent half the movie trying to figure out where you’ve seen him before–he was Bard the Bowman in the Hobbit. The one who shoots Smaug).

I did not love Josh Gad’s performance–NOT because of the gay thing, which I’ll address below–but because he vividly reminds me of someone I once knew. Also, all I can hear is Olaf. But, that may just be my personal taste as others don’t have that issue. I will say I liked the character changes to LeFou. He’s a much stronger character now.

I liked Gandalf as Cogsworth (now we know what he was up to when he wandered off in the Hobbit 🙂 and Qui-Gon did well as Lumiere (when fandoms collide). Just kidding. I do think it’s genius of Disney to cast such luminaries as McKellen, McGregor, and Thompson in key roles (not to mention Audra McDonald and Stanley Tucci). The animated characters are cuter, especially Lumiere, Cogsworth, and Mrs. Potts. Except the graceful and gorgeous Plumette, I prefer the animated ones. Still, at the end, when they turn into objects, I cried buckets. How can a teapot closing her eyes–after being so frantic to find her son–make me sob? I pretty much started crying at “Evermore” and didn’t stop.

The mantel clock Cogsworth, the teapot Mrs. Potts, Lumiere the candelabra and the feather duster Plumette live in an enchanted castle in Disney’s BEAUTY AND THE BEAST the live-action adaptation of the studio’s animated classic directed by Bill Condon.

 

The (not so) big gay controversy: Let me state, in case any of you didn’t know this, that I am a staunch supporter of LBGTQ rights and representation. I wrote a slash ship (McKirk of Star Trek AOS fame)  for several years. I had and have zero problem with Disney including LBGTQ characters in a non-subtextual manner (they’ve arguably been including them in subtext ever since the Evil Queen in Snow White). For that matter, I thought the cast, in general, was more racially diverse too (yet another welcome change!) but that didn’t make headlines, so no one’s talking about it.

Having said that, I liked the development of the LeFou character. It is a step–but only a step–in the right direction. There was still significant subtext to indicate that Gaston and LeFou had more than a flirtation–the bite mark on LeFou’s belly, the “shoots from behind” line added to Gaston, etc. And LeFou in the film (as opposed to LeFou in the cartoon) is significantly less buffoonish. He’s clearly hung up on Gaston (whether you read them as in a relationship or not) and suffers for it. But he’s also just as clearly gay through the movie, and that’s not only accepted in the world but acknowledged with his own implied happy ending, which is lovely.

However, the whole thing was blink and you miss it. If Crofton hadn’t mentioned LeFou’s homosexuality to the media, we likely wouldn’t be having this discussion at all. And that’s what needs to change. This movie takes a step, and an important step, in the right direction. But it’s not enough. Where are the LBGTQ prince and princesses? Why are there no main characters? That’s what we need. Hopefully, Disney movies–and other studios– of the future will give that to us. **Steps off soapbox**

 

So, what didn’t I like?

  1. WHY did they not add in the Prince’s name? It’s Adam, in case you were wondering. Easily fixed, with one line of dialogue. They could have even done it in the opening scene. Not hard. AARGH! What is with Disney and not naming the princes? We have Charming I and Charming II–they’re never named in their films (Cinderella and Snow White) either. Drives me batshit.

This is actually my chief complaint, but it’s a big one! Names are powerful, especially in fairytales. I think it would have been especially powerful for Belle to be talking to him as Beast and go to call him by name, only to stop and say, “I don’t know your name.” And for Beast to say, “It’s Adam.” It would have highlighted that she sees the man behind the beast. Instead, she never once calls him by name, even at the end.

I’ve ranted about this to all my friends who’ve seen the movie (aren’t they lucky?) There is a segment at the end where, in response to Gaston, the Beast says: “I am not a beast.” Still, this is what I would have done (and God help me, I’m probably going to end up writing it because this seriously makes me crazy). I’d have added it to the scene where he gives her the mirror. She thanks him already. She could have said, “I don’t know your name.” And he could have said, it’s Adam. I also would have had her scream it in the tower sequence–it’s much more powerful if she calls him by name.

  1. Emma Watson’s singing, especially in the opening numbers.
  2. I did not love Ms. Potts physical appearance. I get that they had to move her face to the side (as the spout nose looked bad in 3-D) but, after that stunning ballroom floor, they had to make the ugliest teapot in existence?
  3. It’s a minor change (they are all minor) but, in the cartoon, Beast escorts Belle to her room. He doesn’t make her stay in the dungeon. In the film, Lumiere and Cogsworth escort her to the room. I think it makes Beast kinder to escort her.
  4. There are two small dialogue omissions. I was waiting for both these exchanges and was disappointed not to get them!

 

Beast: I want to do something for her. But what?

Cogsworth: Well, there’s the usual things. Flowers, chocolates, promises you don’t intend to keep

Following that exchange in the original film, Beast presents her with the library

***AND***

Gaston: Lefou, I’m afraid I’ve been thinking.

Lefou: A dangerous pastime.

Gaston: I know

So, overall, that’s my thoughts on the live action remake. The story is timeless, quite literally the tale as old as time. I adored it. I can’t wait to see it again and again. And eventually, write my own modern take on it. As soon as my schedule clears in 2021 or so. Until then, I’ll have “Evermore” on replay and have already pre-ordered the HD version as soon as it’s released.